Being two

So lately Conor's been teaching us about the terrible twos. Terrible two's seemed to be characterized by extreme cuteness...and then suddenly being blind-sided by massive tantrums over every little thing.  It's an emotional roller coaster for sure. 

So I decided I needed give myself some positive thinking.

Sometimes I find myself missing these days...

It makes me sad sometimes to see how big he is and miss when he's little. This is really easy to do when he's making it difficult for me to relax or talk to someone.

So I think I need to think about all the benefits of a two year old.

This struck me the other day in the shower. Because get this I CAN TAKE A SHOWER NOW! I remember when Conor was younger being shocked by my friend who could take a shower while her son was awake without having to rush and peek out through the shower curtain. I thought she was supermom. How could she do that?! But now that Conor is two I can safely take a shower while he watches a movie or plays in a safe room. 

Not only can I take a shower but I no longer need to plan my life around breastfeeding. Crazy! I loved breastfeeding and I was sad to stop but being able to live life and not worry about where I will have to try and feed a baby and if it will be awkward. Pretty Awesome!

Getting in the car. Do you know how much easier getting in the car is when you're not carrying a car seat. And better yet sometimes I have the conveniences of having Conor carry some things to the car when I don't have enough hands. Bonus!

Sometimes I can even understand him. You know that stressful feeling when your infant is crying and you don't know what's wrong. Well now that Conor can talk and I know why he's having lots of tantrums I feel a lot less stress because usually I can tell the difference between tantrums I should ignore and the kind of upset I need to comfort. It makes tantrums much easier to ignore when I know its the right choice!

And of course being two allows for the incredible cuteness that comes with creativity. Like today....this is how Conor decided he needed to leave the house...

...with sock hands.
While I have to admit walking through the store with my kid wearing socks on his hands was a little uncomfortable at first. I have to admit it must be so freeing to be two and do those things because its fun for you and who cares what others think!

So even though that face not only shows his creativity but also his mood lately...
Here's to being 2 !!

Sleep Study

So we are back in the hospital again but this time planned and not technically admitted. So it's different. Very different. We are just at the hospital doing a sleep study and we had a long time to prepare for this coming. I would have thought that this would make it fairly stress free, though still sleepless. 

I was wrong!

Walking into the hospital this evening was a very overwhelming feeling. And while it really was nothing like coming when he was admitted before it felt strangely familiar. We come here all the time for appointments but I guess because we were staying the night it brought back a lot of emotion.

Obviously this time is less scary and I'm better prepared (I knew to pack clothes to sleep in and a toothbrush) but I still had to slow down and take a deep breath coming into the hospital. 

Once we were in it was fine though I had a moment watching Conor play on the floor of the hospital room where I felt a little pull at my heart. It seems so wrong for children to play or be in hospital rooms. 

The real hard part came later when Conor was being hooked up to the monitors. I'd done this before so part of me felt prepared and knew how to handle it. But by the end when it was just me and Conor in the room. Him tugging at the wires, yelling and crying it was rough. Last time I had people here for this part. People who could stay while I left the room if I needed. This time it's just me. Boy that sucked! 5 minutes of break would have made a world of difference. They should really let 2 parents stay. 

Being back at the hospital. Sleeping here. Holding Conor down while he fights the tests. Leaves me with a lot of time and a lot of reminders. And I struggled with memories of watching Conor last time. Particularly of watching them put him under to do the MRI. 

Boy I wish I had been more prepared for those feelings!

At least it will all be over in a few hours and I'm not too worried about the outcome. That is a huge relief. Maybe if I focus on that the next few hours will come a little easier.

Maybe I'll say a little prayer that the morning comes quickly and smoothly and hopefully get a little rest (FYI hospitals are not so comfy to sleep in).

Forever Moments

Lately I've been having lots of moments with Conor that leave me with a feeling I can't really describe. It's a kind of intense joy. It's not a joy that comes from having what one might call the best experience of your life, or even some incredible once in a lifetime moment.It's just a moment that feels truly amazing even though it could be totally ordinary. 

They are moments that even as I experience them (though they may be only seconds) that I think that I could spend forever stuck in this moment. I call them forever moments. They are moments when Conor comes up wraps his arms around my neck and just squeezes. Moments when I'm cuddled in bed with Conor and Mike. Moments like this....

...or this...

...and sort of this (though the heights made me uncomfortable)...

I feel like the difference between life now and life before Conor is that while I have forever moments from before he was born, I didn't realize them at the time. And what truly makes a moment amazing is when you know in that moment how truly lucky you are to be right there.

Life with a two year old is still trying but it sure is filled with a lot of forever moments. So I just hold on during those squeezes and let the moments last as long as they can because when its over I want to hold onto the memory just as tight!

Happy Birthday!

It's amazing what happens in a year. 3 years ago around this time I worried that Mike and I would never have kids of our own. We even started the process for foster care but it wasn't for us. If I'm being honest I didn't want someone coming in an evaluating my house.2 years ago around this time I was anxiously awaiting the arrival of my first child (big difference huh!). And last year at this time I was excited about having Conor's first birthday.

This is when I fell in love

Going into his first birthday I was excited about my baby turning one and looking forward to watching him become more independent. I knew the next year we would be faced with challenges as toddlerhood is both a wonderful and trying time. I knew this year would be hard and I was right. I was just expecting a different kind of hard.

First birthday party

It was shortly after this time last year that I acknowledged what I had been rationalizing all along. Conor was delayed. Funny how effective rationalizing can be. After I admitted this to myself I was worried (and frustrated that I let his 1 year appointment go by). This slowly went from general worry, to extreme worry, to being put at ease only to go back to extreme worry and general worry again. But as the year wraps up I'm happy to say I generally feel back at ease.(Thanks to very helpful doctors and wonderful therapists. I have always believed in early intervention. But seeing my son progress shows me what a wonderful use of money!) And we sail into Conor's second birthday with toddler tantrums, party planning, nostalgia and a little sadness at how quickly my boy is growing up.

Lately I've been feeling extremely blessed. This feeling is particularly strong on those mornings where I get to start my day with some cuddles from Conor. He's been pretty cuddly lately. And when I'm sitting in bed with time to spare cuddled up to that boy I can't help but feel blessed to have him in my life. There's so many people who struggle and are never able to have kids or suffer the loss of a child. So I'll take my time to feel lucky to have those moments with my beautiful son.

So Happy 2nd Birthday to my sweet baby boy! I love you!

Thank you!

Last week this is the scene that played out in my house.

I asked Conor if he wanted milk. He did. So he signed "milk" and made his attempt to say milk. So I got him a cup and gave him his milk. As I handed him the cup he says "thank you" and toddled off. I smiled to myself and reflected on how proud I was of him. First I was proud that he said a spontaneous word as this is what I'm hoping he starts doing more. I was then struck with pride at the thought that Conor uses few words spontaneously so the fact that he manages such good manners unprompted is pretty impressive. I sat there proud of my son.

It took a few minutes but as I sat with such pride I realized something. Here I am so proud of my son and yet he doesn't even know it! Too often I think this happens. I see kids all the time who complain because their parents never notice when they do something good. And while I don't believe it's entirely true. I wonder how many opportunities do we as parents miss because we don't tell them when we have these moments. Kids need to hear these things. And I think parents get frustrated when their kids say they don't notice. One reason is that kids tend not to notice when we acknowledge their efforts. Another reason is that often when we acknowledge that we are proud of kids its not at a time when they hear us and we assume they know.

And the thing is when we tell children that we are proud of something specific they have done and we are genuinely proud it can have such a profound effect. I'm sure my mom told me she was proud of lots of things. But I remember numerous times when my mom would tell me how proud she was that the elementary school special education teacher told her I was so good with the kids in her class. My mom talked about this all the time with me. And there's no way I can think this wasn't a huge influence in the career path I choose for myself. I actually often thought about that as I worked towards my career.

Telling our children that we are proud of them really can help shape who they become in a small way. But it needs to be genuine and it needs to be frequent. So we need to find every chance we can to tell our kids when we are proud of them and why. And we need to mean it! Because if they don't have exponentially more incidents of you saying you're proud of them then they might miss it.

Don't worry once I realized that I was merely reflecting on my pride and not telling him I immediately gave him a big hug, And then I told him how happy I was that he has such great manners! And I am proud to be raising a boy with good manners!

And a big kudos as well to my mom for doing this so well!
(Adults can benefit from positive feedback as well ya know!)

Glasses

Last week we had a doctor's appointment marathon. Made for a busy week but also got it all done at once instead of dragging things out. Kind of nice! At his last appointment Conor saw an ophthalmologist. Now we already saw a neuro-ophthalmologist back in January so this was a follow up. Based on his appointment in January I kind of knew this appointment would wind up with glasses on my boys beautiful face. So driving down to his appointment I was a little sad.

And what do you know...

...we got glasses!

No don't get me wrong that face...super cute even with the glasses, but I'm sad. I'm sad because he looks different. An unlike his changes in appearance so far, this isn't gradual. I'll get over this. But I think he gives me twinges of sadness because he's growing up. REALLY FAST!

Today I was listening to the Phil Vassar song "Don't Miss Your Life". I gotta do better at that. I get to spend lots of time with Conor and I enjoy it no question. But I feel like sometimes time gets away from me. The past few months have gone to quickly I want to work on paying more attention to the 24 hours I get each day!

Seeing Conor in his glasses I think he looks an awful lot like Ralph from A Christmas Story. 

Don't you think?

That being said in looking up pictures of him I found recent pictures of the actor who plays Ralph. And you know he is hot!

So I know I'm working on focusing on the present and not always trying to get to the future but...logic tells me that if my kid looks like that kid, and that kid grew up to be that good looking then my cute kid it going to be one good looking man! And that makes me happy! :)

P.S. Please don't look for holes in my logic. It makes me happy so it doesn't matter if it is flawed!

Magic

The last couple of days I've been kind of in awe of my kid. I mean being almost 2 is a cool time. Its tough for sure with independence, whining, tantrums and frustrations. But its kind of cool. It's like 2 year olds have that balance we all need in our lives. They get hurt sure, but they move on. And they appreciate life to the fullest. It's incredible.

Conor loves anything with an engine so when he hears one he stops everything to look for it and then watches. When the engine leaves he very happily say "buhbye!" and back to playing. We take walks and say bye to almost every car we pass. Motorcycles put him in a kind of trance...the kind that occurs when he hears the music from the ice cream truck. 

I love spending time with Conor in this stage because it is so cool that he can stop and take the time out of everyday and notice the world. And because Conor does it I get to do it too. It helps t appreciate life that way. I think that's the most important thing kids can teach us.

 The world wouldn't function if we all were 2 year olds. But if we really appreciate our two year olds and learn from them then we can still benefit from the magical world of being a kid. The world where falling and scraping your knee can hurt so bad but a hug from mommy makes it better and there's nothing quite like hanging out in mom and dad's bed. (I should note that while I HATE Conor getting hurt, I so love that a hug from me solves almost all his problems. How is that not just the best confidence boost in the whole world?!)

So here's to learning to live life like a kid!

Tantrums

I've taught parenting classes for something like 5 years now. Conor's almost 2 so there were a number of years teaching that I was not a parent myself. I felt self conscience about this and inevitably there was always someone in the class who questioned this. But you know what? By the end of a 7-week course the person who questioned my not being a parent always gave me the best scores on the class evaluation. So I started to gain confidence. After all the doubters seemed to come around that's got to be good right?

As you should in any parenting class I acknowledged that it was tough to be a parent. I simply reminded people that my techniques with kids work even though I'm not their parent. The biggest difference. At the end of the day they weren't my kids and I could go home. Which meant a few things. 1.I got a break so it was easier to be consistent and 2. I didn't feel as guilty because it wasn't my kid acting this way. The point is things like consistency still are the best way but they are just harder t do when its all day everyday.

What I didn't realize before I became a mommy was that there was another factor that made it tough. This is a factor I don't even know how to describe. It is that it feels different when your child is upset. I can listen to kids cry and throw temper tantrums for hours. It drives me a little crazy but I can do it. The other night I timed one and was surprised to see it was only like 20minutes. It felt longer. Because when its your kid it pulls at you differently. A 20 minute tantrum with any other kid would be nothing. With Conor it frustrated the hell out of me.

So I thought about it. I thought about how it's different when your the parent and when your not. And then I realized I think it is so different but really I still do the same thing. The thought process is different. So I thought I'd share my thought process.

When I work with a kid and they throw a tantrum or aren't following directions this is what I do. I sit quietly (I tell parents all the time silence is an effective tool it sends a message to the kid that you are not happy/acknowledging their tantrum and gives you time to scramble for an idea. But they don't know you're scrambling! Victor parent!) So this is what I think while I have my best "this is not acceptable face":

Crap! Now what do I do?! Ok what choices can I give to get them to do what I want ? How can I give choices I have no control in this situation? Nope I have control what do I have control over? 

(choices are the best it gives kids the impression of control while still maintain most of the control at the adult).

The  conversation in my head seems like it goes on forever but the clock tells me it does not! Thank goodness! And then I pull some wonderful gem that I'm sure is not gong to work like. If you don't help me clean up the markers I'm not going to want to bring them the next time I see you. This of course is met with not cleaning up markers. But If I put away like 3 markers and remind them I won't bring them next time suddenly I have help. Go figure!

NOW when it is Conor the conversation in my head is different. It goes more like this:

Oh dear God I don't want to deal with this! (waiting) You're supposed to ignore tantrums right? So I'm doing that! Good for me, doing the right thing! (let entirely too much time pass) Ok seriously this is not the type of tantrum I just ignore I actually have to help his get out of his frustration. So now what the hell do I do? What would work me do? Work me would give him choices. I need to give him choices.

And then I give him choices and we eventually get the problem resolved. Eventually. So like I said it is pretty much the same the thought process is just a little different!

 And yes I do actually ask myself what would work me do.

Did I mention I hate tantrums?! Can't wait for these to end! Don't worry I know I have a while!

I love this kid!

Life ebbs and flows. I was feeling so productive for a while there. Recently I don't feel so productive. 

I'm not sure why that is I have more time then I did 2 months ago. But I feel like I keep not getting around to routine things I had managed to maintain despite our crazy schedule. Maybe it is because I finally took a big sigh and granted myself a big long break for getting through it. Some of it is definitely because the weather is nice and we have been spending ridiculous amounts of time outside. I'm pretty sure for a while there Conor forgot what his inside toys looked like.

He remembered though no worries! I definitely need to get back into my routine of some of my indoor chores and running. I'll feel better about myself I'm sure. Somebody hold me to that..I will fix my schedule! Being off it does not work. I think I've also screwed up my routine a little by moving Conor to a toddler bed. He's doing well with it now (a couple of falls out of the bed..now when he falls out though he falls back to sleep on the floor). But the toddler bed has shorten nap time a little...darn!

I've been feeling a little off lately too. I couldn't figure out why at first but I think it's because Conor started having those episodes again. Not nearly as frequently thank goodness but they stopped for a while and now they are back. Those episodes really mess with my head. I at least have relief now because the doctors are pretty adamant that its benign. But their weird and it makes me worry and just makes me think all kinds of thoughts.

I was enjoying my break from doctors appointments but April is quickly approaching so back we got to doctors. Also lots of therapy appointments. Maybe busy is better and I will start getting more done! Fingers crossed! 

In the meantime I'll just focus on the fact that if nothing else I'm loving my time watching my baby become a boy!

P.S. Did I mention I love this kid?!?!

Life isn't easy but it is good

The weather has changed (knock on wood that it is really Spring and not a tease!) and our family has been loving it! We've been going to the park as much as we can get there. Even taking the dogs sometimes if we think there won't be too many people around.

 He's growing up!

I love going to the park with Conor! It's not necessarily easy (why do they have so many openings on the equipment that a kid can fall off? And why does it alternate sides of the equipment?) but it is easier then being stuck inside all day. Conor loves to be outside and when its nice I can tolerate being out with him for much longer then in the cold. There's also other kids to play with...I can't tell you how happy this makes Conor.

 Knock knock!

 Getting so big!

I also love going to the park with my whole family. There's nothing quite like watching Conor and Mike play together. They have so much fun its wonderful to watch! And I just feel better being out in the fresh air.
 

 Good conversation...

 Log rolls!

So needless to say this past weekend was wonderful and I'm excited about this weekend coming up because it will be nice again. This week however has been a little tough. Its been nice outside so we have played plenty which is great. But Conor has been getting frustrated more lately. I'm not really sure if it's the time change, his limited communication or just the fact that he's turning two. Whatever it is we've had a lot of whining and tantrums this week that have been driving me crazy.

It frustrates me because if I could just understand what he wants or get him to understand me we could solve it but we couldn't quite get there. With a lot of deep breaths, a few early bedtimes and reminding myself over and over how frustrating this must be for him we got through it (for now!). The tests are definitely going to be tough but I just need to keep reminding myself that he's trying to figure it all out and that's a tough task!

Independence...such a blessing and a curse....

Last night I realized with mixed emotions that Conor's turning 2 in two months!! Holy cow!! I'm excited, sad and a little nervous all at the same time. I guess I'm not sad as much as nostalgic(I learned from my previous posts see!) In true mother fashion (maybe new mother I guess) I got excited about his birthday party and discussed with Mike what kind of cake I should try and make him this year. So for the first time I actually set my mind to figuring out Pinterest enough to find some ideas for a cake that would be good for Conor, (For the record I'm still not sold on Pinterest as a hobby but it maybe alright when I need something specific)

And a few more for good measure...

 Kicking me out of my own room....

 

HAPPY SPRING!!!!!!

Victory

What good is a new blog post without at least one picture?

This week is the first week we have not had to leave the house for a single appointment in about 7 weeks. Better still I haven't had to fill my tank with gas this week because for the first time in a long time we haven't driven outside of the county. Little victories! That being said...I'm exhausted!

I've remained fairly proud of myself. Somehow despite all the things going on I have managed to get Conor out doing something every week. Usually its little gym but social interaction is important so I've been trying my best to have a few more outings when feasible. I also miraculously have managed to keep up with my house. Its not as clean as I would like (never is though) and I haven't touched any of the "projects" I've been wanting to do "when Conor gets older" but it is not a disgusting mess. Its actually cleaner in the last two months then it had gotten in the two months prior to all this. And though I slack I have managed to keep running each week.

I was pretty sure that my house was going to fall apart and running was just out of the question with our schedule for January and February. In fact I had given myself permission to let it go until the appointments slowed down. But I managed. I don't know how. So I'm proud.

Today I took Conor our to try a new gym since it was free. Then I thought it would be a good idea to run some errands. My work shoes fell apart a few weeks ago and we were running out of baby shampoo so I went to the store. That's when I realized. I managed to keep the other stuff juggled because I stopped running errands. Errands are important but can be put off. Especially when I buy in bulk. Now I had been grocery shopping sure. And when something was empty that I would normally go to Target or Wal-mart for I sucked it up and paid grocery store prices because otherwise Mike would have been going without deodorant for two months (You're welcome world!) But I had forgotten how much time errands took with a kid. That's where I found the extra time! (Don't get me wrong I still need at least 3 more hours of non-nap time and 3 more hours of nap time in each day...somebody please figure out how I get that!)

I realized however that while errands with a kid are certainly more difficult (getting in and out of car seats and carts) but I kind of miss running them. They are cumbersome. But wandering around Target when you're not in a rush can be relaxing. Also I put off going to the dentist and getting a pedicure. Now the dentist might not be relaxing but I sure would love to get out and get a pedicure one day....But for now I gave myself nap time off today (did I mention I'm exhausted? I woke up this morning feeling like I had a newborn again I slept so poorly. Not Conor's fault though) So I did the dishes, swept and mopped the floor and now I am forcing myself to relax and watch tv until Conor wakes up. (To be honest though I am seriously considering washing the bathrooms but its best I wait until tomorrow)

Growth

Maybe every mom feels this way but I like to think Conor's delays have helped me to better appreciate his growth. I have always been the type of person that looks forward to things and then feels a sense of sadness when it is over. Even when I was little I couldn't wait for vacation but I always remember a weird feeling coming over me as it ended. I guess I always spend so much time building up to what is coming that I miss the journey.

I realized this about myself a long time ago and so I made changes to address the issue. But I'm realizing now the changes weren't the right changes. I made plans to be sure I had something to look forward to at the end. Or making sure a lasting change occurred after a big event I was waiting for. But I realize now that's not the solution. The solution all along was to not focus too much on something coming and really enjoy the right now.

Conor helps with that. I admit I spent so much time already saying I can't wait until he holds his head up/sits/walks. But I'm not sad its over when the milestone happens. The fact that he can do these things is so exciting and then I see all the independence that comes with it. Instead of being sad that he's growing up and the excitement of the milestone has passed I enjoy his pride in himself. This is what I was missing. Instead of being sad my vacation/wedding/college years are over I need to focus on the joy those memories bring me and enjoy the growth I take from that time.

Funny how someone, who thinks hiding behind the blinds during story time is hilarious, can teach you so much. But then I guess if you're not playing hide and seek during story time are you really living?

Now this is living...

 ...staying up past bedtime to laugh with friends...

...using a wet day to put on boots and a raincoat to splash in puddles...

...taking a break from pretending to be a fireman to have a snack...

 

 

...practicing to be a celebrity...

...or just being silly with dad!

Thank God!

I should note that I generally hate health insurance companies but today as in many recent days I find myself saying "Thank God for insurance companies!" Today I had to pick up Conor's orthodics for his shoes. As we were leaving I had to sign the form saying how much they cost, how much insurance pays, how much is discounted because of insurance and how much I owe. I had no idea these little plastic inserts that he will likely outgrow in less then 6 months cost $1300. Holy Cow! My portion? $0! Thank you health insurance! Thank God Mike's job gives us amazing health coverage!

So Conor and I went out to story time and when we came home I put him down and checked the mail. In the mail I found a bill for $165 for his helmet. What?! That thing was $165?! Knowing at this point that medical equipment should cost me nothing I got online and saw that this claim was processed and paid by my health insurance company. So I called the number on the bill and told them I'm showing this bill has been paid. I got some disagreement but thank you internet I was able to email the explanation of benefits and now they will be figuring it out with the insurance company. Again thank you insurance! While I was taking care of the bill I saw all the processed claims from the hospital again and how the thousands of dollars in claims filed over the last 60 days are costing me a mere $150. Thank God!

So since my day has provided me with multiple opportunities that could have potentially been so stress inducing had circumstances been different I've decided to take today to be thankful. Thankful for my family. Thankful for how amazing my son is. Thankful for all we have. Thankful for good jobs, steady paychecks, and insurance. And extremely thankful for all the fun we have together! So thank you God for all you've given me!

This big kid is ready for high school

Modeling that spaghetti belly

Sweet little boy

Conor update

So Conor's appointments are winding down. Friday we had an evaluation at the Center for Autism Spectrum Disorders. While out concern was minimal we were happy to be told Conor did not have any spectrum disorders. They did say he does have some sensory issues they did not seem to cause him too many problems so it isn't something we need to address.

We did learn at this appointment that Conor has motor planning issues which are likely a cause of his delays. This was not much of a surprise as this had been brought up in his last speech therapy session. The appointment really answered a lot of questions for us however. Issues with motor planning as I understand them mean that Conor knows what we are saying and may even know the appropriate response however he has difficulty processing the appropriate steps to make him body give the appropriate response. So he may know to touch his finger to his nose when asked where his nose is but gets stuck figuring out how to put his finger on his nose.

Friday's appointment was the first appointment where I finally felt like I got a start of answer to the question what can we expect. While I don't know exactly what to expect they did say that with intervention we should have an idea in a year of how affected Conor will be by all this. My understanding is this motor planning thing will always be an issue for him when faced with a new motor challenge but his level of difficulty will depend on his ability to work around his limitations.

As a result of new understandings of Conor we will begin an occupational therapy evaluation, an educator evaluation and schedule a sleep study. While this is once again more things to add onto the pile I'm relieved to be moving onto adding interventions for helping Conor instead of looking for answers. So we have more appointments, new insight and only one more appointment in DC for a while (Thank God!).

In trying to focus on the positive I've been thinking about past with Conor and how I feel they helped prepare me for future challenges with him.  I feel like our challenges with fertility helped get me through a miserable pregnancy. Conor's "easy" personality helped make life easier as a baby. This may have made Conor's motor difficulties as a baby easier to handle (its tough not being able to carry your baby on your hip for so long or sit him on the floor for 10 months). I also feel blessed that his easy personality makes all these appointments much easier to get through (I think doctors appreciate this too).

So my positive focus for the day is that I can work to better understand that this process must be so frustrating for Conor as he struggles with knowing what he wants or the answer and not being able to communicate it properly. (In the evaluation they noted that because he's so social this inability to communicate would be extremely frustrating for him.) Maybe this will help me maintain perspective through the terrible twos!

Today is a great day!

I had a rough week this week. We all have those sometimes. Days where things we normally can do seem just a little tougher and things pile up. Work was rough, Conor was rough, and I wasn't sleeping well. Things add up sometimes. But today, today my work week is over. Not only is my work week over but Conor only had his Little Gym class today. Absolutely no other appointments. If you've been keeping up this is a rarity. We've been having a doctor's appointment a week (never less then half an hour away usually more). Sprinkle in speech and physical therapy (which I no longer even count as appointments anymore as they are at home. 45 minutes to schedule for is easy! 3 hours is not!) and an appointment free day just seems impossible!

I woke up this morning determined to have a productive day!

Every week I start Thursday with the laundry battle. Every week I convince myself that THIS week I'm going to win. I'm going to get all the laundry washed, dried, folded and put away.  Inevitably I never win because more laundry ends up in the basket before I finish and then I give up a little and the last load sits folded in the laundry basket waiting to be put away or left sitting in the drier. I'll do it the following week... But last week I got really close. It took all weekend but I got all but a few whites completely finished (there ways not enough for a load). So this morning I was convinced this week I could do it all before the weekend.

When I woke up I debate do I get up and start cleaning or sleep a little longer and wait for Conor to wake up. Mike said I should sleep. He was right. So I slept a little and woke up before Conor started stirring n his crib. I figured I'd get the first load started in hopes of accomplishing my goal. When I went down to start the load I was surprised to find tat Mike had started the first load for me! What an amazing husband! It may seem small but when I got up this morning I was able to start on load 2 of laundry! And so I was even more determined to make today a more productive day! I planned on running, cleaning the bathrooms, doing the dishes and finishing the laundry. And you know what! Check! Check! In progress! AND In progress! It's a good day!

This week I read to friends blogs talking about how amazing their significant other were. I admit they made me feel bad because that morning I had told Mike (jokingly) that I hated him for not hearing his alarm that morning and waking me up. (Please note Mike sets his alarm 30 minutes earlier then mine so he can hit snooze for a while. Which I have no problem with because I like to hit snooze but HIT SNOOZE ALREADY!) But today I have to say Mike really is amazing. He makes life much easier. He even worth all the extra laundry he creates! I really don't know how single moms do it. Because without his little extra help this morning before he went to work I would never have been so motivated today!

Sometimes on this blog I have expressed my sadness and anger. But to be clear there isn't a day that I don't find some happiness. My family is amazing and I wouldn't change them for anything! Moments like these make me smile everyday...

What's better then rolling with daddy?

My boys make me laugh and smile!

Nail gun attack!

Words cannot describe how much I love Conor's expression

This is probably why they tell you not to let kids play with bags!