Growing and Learning Through Motherhood: Growth

Maybe every mom feels this way but I like to think Conor's delays have helped me to better appreciate his growth. I have always been the type of person that looks forward to things and then feels a sense of sadness when it is over. Even when I was little I couldn't wait for vacation but I always remember a weird feeling coming over me as it ended. I guess I always spend so much time building up to what is coming that I miss the journey.

I realized this about myself a long time ago and so I made changes to address the issue. But I'm realizing now the changes weren't the right changes. I made plans to be sure I had something to look forward to at the end. Or making sure a lasting change occurred after a big event I was waiting for. But I realize now that's not the solution. The solution all along was to not focus too much on something coming and really enjoy the right now.

Conor helps with that. I admit I spent so much time already saying I can't wait until he holds his head up/sits/walks. But I'm not sad its over when the milestone happens. The fact that he can do these things is so exciting and then I see all the independence that comes with it. Instead of being sad that he's growing up and the excitement of the milestone has passed I enjoy his pride in himself. This is what I was missing. Instead of being sad my vacation/wedding/college years are over I need to focus on the joy those memories bring me and enjoy the growth I take from that time.

Funny how someone, who thinks hiding behind the blinds during story time is hilarious, can teach you so much. But then I guess if you're not playing hide and seek during story time are you really living?

Now this is living...