I worry a lot! Parents worry about lots of things with their kids. With everything going on with Conor I worry about what future struggles he will have. I see how these struggles hurt kids and I don't want that for him. So I worry. Like it will somehow solve something. I know it won't and so I try not to let myself worry.When I worry I get upset because it seems so unfair for Conor.
People like to point out the positive when I update them about Conor. Often the positive people find is that Mike and I are well equipped to handle this. We have the knowledge to help Conor in his delays. I know people are trying to be helpful but this bothers me. It bothers me because it seems unfair to Conor. Because Mike and I choose careers in which we help people (which I think Gd would like), that Conor would have to suffer with difficulties. I'm not even sure that it makes sense but it feel like Conor is being punished because his parents happen to be equipped to deal with his delays. I know this isn't people's intents when they point this out. It is just how I've been thinking about it.
I know people feel like its a blessing we know what we know. And usually it is. But sometimes I feel like it is a negative because I know how hard this is on kids and so I worry. Even more.
This morning I had a realization though. What's unfair is the kids who are delayed that have parents that did something to cause it. Its unfair that some kids with significant impairments have parents who don't even try and make an effort. Those poor kids that have to go through the trials of having a disability alone.This is probably what people have meant all along when they point out how well equipped Mike and I are. I just wasn't there yet I think.
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