Boots and Bars

As Mack finished up his casting we decided to get his pictures done with his cast. This is part of his life. We want to remember what he's been through. This will help us appreciate it when he can walk. (I think my feelings about him walking may be very different then with Conor).

It was hard to get this picture of Mack smiling. He was a very serious baby in that cast.

So we ditched the cast and moved onto new challenges. Boots and Bars. The doctor had us come back after a week in the brace. In his words "to make sure you haven't thrown these things out the window." To be honest its a good thing he did. 

It seems to make good sense. Why would I not make him wear the brace after going through all the casting? Plus lets be honest this will help him walk pain free one day. Don't moms make sacrifices for their babies? I knew it would be hard but I thought there was no way I wouldn't make him wear those boots.

But I'll admit. I made it 6 hours and then I desperately wanted to take them off. I had to remind myself a million times this will help him walk. That this is what's best for him. That later that evening he will get to be out of those things for an hour.

See the thing is I would never toss them out a window. BUT I could see how easy it would have been to take them off more then necessary to give him a break. I could have easily rationalized in my head..."Oh I'll just take them off for a little while" "Oh I can work him in gradually"...and that rationalization would have easily ended up with improper wear.

So instead when all my other self-encouragement failed I reminded myself we have to go to the doctors in a week and I don't want to get lectured.

And so despite all my desires I left them on. But let me tell you it was hard the first couple days! When your baby is crying out and cannot be comforted and you know exactly what will make him feel better. Its hard to not do what will make him feel better.

Now things are easier and he's happy even in his boots. Much happier then he ever was in his cast.

And for an hour every night we get to play like every other baby.

And he loves it!

The brace has gotten easier. And we've adjusted. There's still surprises every now and then that I wasn't expecting to be difficult but we are dealing. And despite all attempts to soften the blow he still manages to hurt me with that brace. 

As the weather has gotten warmer and as Mack is getting older he's out of his carseat more and people can see his brace. I see people look at him sometimes (as all people do when they have a baby) and inevitably their gazes end at his feet and their expression changes. Its hard sometimes to see this happen. I don't blame them I would probably do the same. Its a natural reaction I think. But it  stings a little. People also come up and ask more now. This doesn't bother me near as much and I just explain. But its not always possible for people to come and ask.

The other day I was driving and my thoughts went to Mack. I was relieved. We are almost a month in now. Which means just over two months. And then every day he will look like every other baby and just wear those things at night. And very possibly will never have to deal with this again. And I am so glad that that's all this is.

Every night though  I look forward to that hour without the boots. And when that hour is over I have to put those boots back on whether he likes it or not...most times its a bit of a fight. And its a little sad knowing I won't get to see those feet again until the following evening.

I recently showed someone Mack's picture and they asked about his foot. I explained it. And the person asked me how this happens with all Conor's stuff too.

Without thinking I responded very automatically with

"God just likes to challenge me"

It seems like a good enough explanation.

I think I'll go with it.